John ‘Bull’ Fahrvergnügen is a stocky, red-headed man in his late thirties, a go-getter if ever there was one. He speaks loudly, bluntly, compellingly. Yesterday he was announcing the IPO of his new transportation company, Delivery. I had the opportunity to speak [or rather, listen] to him afterwards.
Mr Fahrvergnügen, …
Just call me Bull, but keep it short, I have work to do.
OK, Bull, tell me about yourself. What’s your background?
Born in Chicago, dropped out of high school, jailed twice for assaulting cops but it was self-defense, drove trucks for a while, worked as bodyguard for the mayor, won a big lottery and started up Delivery. Believe me, my investors and shareholders are gonna make fortunes.
Rags to riches, eh?. What’s special about Delivery?
The core element is the vehicle, NuTruk. It’s made exclusively for me, in China. It’s a big rig like you’ve never seen before. Diesel-solar-electric hybrid motor, integrated tractor-trailer and it’s fully autonomous – no damn driver needed.
How did you ever get legal permission to operate them?
Lobbyists, expensive ones at that. There’s no other way to get anything OK’d, or stopped, by Congress.
But cars aren’t allowed to be driven without licensed drivers. So how..?
Cars are different, they work in a different universe. City streets, people’s driveways, back of beyond on podunk farm roads. Hard environment, full of problems. My trucks will be on interstates and major highways only, serving major distribution centers – what used to be called warehouses, you remember? And the technology’s all there, thanks to those Google guys and their pals. They thought they’d make money building cars for people, and maybe they will, eventually; I know I’ll make fortunes delivering freight for corporations, starting this year. They’re smart, I guess, but I’m a businessman.
All with this NuTruk?
No, there’s lots more. A whole network of support. My own satellite for controlling the trucks. Logistics software for scheduling them efficiently. A few controllers, I call them droners, to monitor the fleet and, very rarely, take over individual trucks in exceptional cases – like an avalanche or a flash flood. Interactive real-time weather reports fed back from trucks to network planners. Truck-to-truck data exchanges on local road and traffic conditions. Owner-operators might buy similar trucks, but they can’t afford my support network, it’s all or nothing.
Existing big companies might…
No way. They’re established and so are their unions. Teamsters will keep them in their dark ages for years, decades, while I steal their lunch. I’ll force them into local deliveries, they’re welcome to that. And as for the railroads they can keep their coal and oil business – have you ever seen any other kind of distribution center at a rail terminal? They pay for their tracks, taxpayers pay for my roads.
The owner-operators and union drivers will be unhappy…
Too bad. My lobbyists are the best in the business. And customers will love my prices.
How so?
No drivers to pay. That’s a safety issue too, cops will love it when there’s no sleepy drivers on the road. My NuTruks will be on the road round the clock except for loading and unloading, not limited by driver hour limits. Triple the productivity, just like that. Plus optimized routing and speed management for fuel economy – although the big batteries and the solar panels covering the entire top and the recharging facilities during unloading means they won’t use much fuel to begin with. These trucks will be streamlined; removing the cab and driver comforts gives more length to put a fairing over the rear, save a lot of gas. Two biggest costs both reduced by two thirds or more. Efficiency and productivity, my friend, that’s what it’s all about. I’m unbeatable.
How can my readers share in your success?
Buy your Delivery stock now, while it’s still cheap. Nice talking to you, I gotta go now.
https://www.mercedes-benz.com/en/mercedes-benz/innovation/the-long-haul-truck-of-the-future/
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Also find these older posts…
A … Autonomy
B … Bear
C … Corporations
M … Morning
H … Hope
I … Introduction
J … Judgment
L … Liberty
M … Morning
O … Old Friend
P … Potholes
R … Review
S … Snoozers
W … Weather
Copyright 2016 Flight of Eagles
Khoti Sarque 
Interesting. Looked at the Mercedes ad. The model looked like no trucker I’ve ever seen before. He still saw the need for a seat belt.
Well-written. I enjoy your style Khoti.
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What a fun post–loved it!
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