N … Nuts

nuts

Standing in the ATM line, minding my own business in a God-fearing way, I turned to the guy behind me.
“Busy today,” I said.
“Yep, lots of people,” he said. Not really conversational, more like he wanted me to disappear. I looked him over. Clean-shaven, older guy, bare-headed, kinda dark-faced for a real American. Not looking me in the eye, either.
“Don’t matter anyway. The government gets all our money. We don’t have a say,” I said.
He pretended not to hear me. I know the type, think they know everything.
“Hope the Rapture comes soon,” I remarked. Two people ahead of me turned their heads quickly, then pretended they were reading billboards across the street. “Government taxes us to death, spends the money on Satanic programs.”
He kinda shrugged, which seemed offensive.
“Have you heard the Good News?” I asked. He did not reply. I wondered if he was a Muslim, sure looked like one and now behaving like one. But not the type to carry a weapon, let alone a bomb. Just a wimpy little alien, the kind the Anti-Christ is filling the country with.
“Look, mister, you need to read the Holy Book,” I advised him, raising my voice to make sure he heard. He shrank back a little. I could feel the Lord in me, giving me power. “The End Days are a-coming, and the Times of Tribulation. Only the Faithful will survive. How will you like that, you smug little foreigner?”
He smiled weakly and pointed ahead. “Line’s just moved up.”
I stood my ground. I put my face close to his, eyeball to eyeball, and glared. He stepped back, turned his head away like my breath smelled bad or something.
“Folks like me, we’re angry,” I informed him, “because folks like you have betrayed our values. You got a job?”
“Well, yes, I’ve worked forty years building my computer business.”
“I ain’t got no job, company closed down thirty years ago, moved the machinery to Mexico. You know what it’s like, thirty years of unemployment and disability?”
“What did you do?’
“Oiled the machines, swept swarf from the floor. Good union rates. Then your kind stole it.”
“Couldn’t you find another job?”
“Not trained for it, not ‘qualified’. I’m not going back to no school. Not with the end of the world coming and all.”
“You say you’re disabled? What happened?”
“Depression at not having no job. Chronic.”
“Look, the ATM’s free now.”
“Don’t you go pushing me around. I’ll get my cash in my own good time. Who d’you think you are anyway?”
“Just the next guy in line.”
“Yeah, well, watch what you say. God’ll deal with your kind pretty damn soon.” I punched the ATM screen, deposited my check, got my cash, left with just one more warning look at that guy. Thinks he owns the world. Probably voted for Obama. He’s lucky I’m not the violent type. Maybe next election will bring back the good old days, then we’ll show how the country should be run.