V … Vexing

vexed cat

“This is most vexing,” Alice complained, sitting down at the tea table.

“Ain’t that the truth?” interjected the Hatter, flashing a toothy smile.

The Dormouse stirred, said, “What is Truth?” then returned to his slumbers.

“Truth is whatever I say!” observed the Red Queen, glaring at each in turn. Not one of the guests disputed that.

“Truth can be established scientifically, by observing objective data,” Alice offered. Where she got that insane idea is anyone’s guess.

The Cheshire Cat materialized, grin first, and suggested slyly that Truth is whatever anyone chooses to believe at the moment.

“Off with his grin!” commanded the Red Queen.

“You mean his head?” asked the Hatter. That Cat had never been a good customer anyway, there was an old grudge about an outstanding account. But the Cheshire Cat insisted he was not that Cat in a Hat and let the matter rest.

“We need a Trial,” boomed a voice from behind.

“Guilty!” cried the Queen.

“Innocent,” objected Alice. Then she added, cautiously, “At least until proven Guilty as you say, Your Majesty.”

“Verdict is Guilty,” murmured Dormouse from his dream, “So now let’s hear the Arguments.”

“It wasn’t me, and that’s the Truth because I know it,” said Cheshire.

“It was him, and that’s the Truth because I’ve got the bill right here,” claimed Hatter.

“Truth is I’m still wearing it,” boomed the voice from behind. They all turned round to see who spoke; it was the Cat in the Hat.

“I’m glad that’s settled,” said Alice. “This is still most vexing.”

“What now?” demanded the Queen, beating her fist on the table.

“This cake. It’s fake. Now whoever would bake a fake cake?”

Everyone looked at the Hatter.


Also find these older posts…
A … Angst
B … Brag
C … Clowder
D … Down
E … Errors
F … Folly
G … Global
H … Huh?
I … Immigrants
J … Jet
K … King
L … Lunch
M … Moby
N … No!
O … Once
P … Pundit
Q … Quibbler
R … Robot
S … Sillivization
T … Telemarketing
U … Utopia

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